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Julianne shifted her stance. She still wore the jeans and the simple T-shirt she'd sported earlier. But her hair, that scarlet, spellbinding hair, blew gloriously in the wind. "I owe you an apology."

  "No, you don't." He jammed his hands into his pockets, thinking how small she was, just a sprite of a woman.

  "But I was rude to you," she said.

  "That's all right. I had it coming."

  "That isn't true." She paused, took a breath. "It was a misunderstanding. I saw your ring and I assumed you were still married."

  "Oh." Taken aback, he kept his hands in his pockets. He couldn't explain why he wore the wedding band Sharon had given him. He couldn't admit the truth, not to anyone but himself. "That was a logical deduction, Ms. McKenzie."

  "Julianne," she corrected. "I'm so sorry about your wife."

  Everything inside him went still. Dead still. He would never forget the pain and guilt that tainted Sharon's memory. "Thank you."

  "I'm divorced," she offered.

  "Is that good or bad?"

  She shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't decided yet."

  "So what brought you to Texas?" he asked, trying to ease into a simpler conversation.

  "My birthday."

  She made a sour face, and he found himself smiling. "That bad, huh?"

  "I'll be forty."

  He'd suspected as much. Although she wore her age well, he could see the maturity in her eyes, in her gestures. "You'll survive. I did. Two-and-half years ago."

  "You're a man. Gray hair looks good on your gender."

  And all those brilliant Irish locks looked incredible on her. "Come on. I'll walk you back to the lodge."

  She gave him a suspicious look. "Are you trying to get rid of me?"

  "I'm headed that way. And I assume you barely got a chance to relax. Besides, I think you left your cane in the lobby. And your granny glasses. Oh, and those dowdy housedresses old ladies wear. I'm sure I saw one in your suitcase."

  "Very funny." She bumped his arm and started toward the lodge. "My cousins are going to have an over-the-hill party for me."

  "Black balloons? A cake with a tombstone on it?"

  "Exactly." She stopped, gazed up at him. "What did you do on your fortieth birthday?"

  He tried not to flinch. He'd been emotionally ill that day, churning about the condition of his body. He remembered throwing his prosthesis across the cabin and smashing a lamp to smithereens. Although he deserved to be punished for what he'd done to Sharon, the constant reminder wasn't easy to bear. Particularly on the birthday she'd been teasing him about but hadn't lived to see.

  "Quite truthfully, turning forty sucked."

  Julianne laughed. "Now there's a man after my own heart."

  He laughed, too. Even though he could still feel the loss, the fear, the pain from that depressing birthday. "I hated every minute of it."

  "Then I guess that makes you my forty-support buddy."

  "Yeah, I guess it does," he agreed. "After all, no one should have to go through it alone."

  "Amen to that." She sighed, lifted her face to the sun. "And no one should have to be subjected to a cake with a tombstone on it."

  Or bury a wife, he thought.

  They continued in silence, passing several large barbecue grills, a host of shaded picnic benches and the chef's organic garden.

  When they reached the lodge, Bobby pointed to the parking lot. "I'm going that way."

  "Oh, okay. I think I'll book my first horseback-riding lesson for tomorrow. Should I do that at the reception desk?"

  He nodded. "Guess who your instructor will be?"

  "You?" she asked. "My forty-support buddy?"

  "Yep." He tipped his hat. "Ancient cowboy at your service."

  "Then I'll see you tomorrow, old man."

  "You got it."

  He walked to his truck and then stopped to glance over his shoulder, to catch one more glimpse of her hair. But she was already gone, already out of sight.

  He reached for his keys, wondering what Julianne McKenzie would say if he told her the truth about his wife.

  That Sharon Elk had put her faith in him on the night she'd died.

  On the night he'd killed her.

  * * *

  Chapter 2

  «^»

  Julianne sat on the edge of a rolling-pin bed, poring over a color brochure.

  Her room at the lodge, artistically crafted from oak beams and plastered limestone, offered a cedar chest, a cypress table and multipaned windows.

  The architecture, she read, was inspired by the German immigrants who'd originally settled in the Texas Hill Country, but the colorful baskets and clay pottery represented the Elk family's Cherokee roots.

  Curious to know more, she scanned the back of the brochure, hoping to learn more about Bobby's family, but the rest of the information centered on the ranch.

  "So, what did he say?"

  Julianne glanced up. Kay sat at the table, watching her with a keen eye. Her cousins were staying in the room next door, but they seemed determined to remain by her side, probing her for details about Bobby Elk.

  "He accepted my apology."

  "And?" Kay prompted.

  "And we talked about my birthday. About coping with turning forty. He seemed to understand how I feel."

  "Did you tell him you were divorced?"

  Julianne nodded. "I mentioned it."

  "We think he's perfect for you." Kay shot a gleaming grin at Mern. She, too, sat at the table, but she wasn't nearly as devilish as the dark-haired Kay. Mern behaved like the innocent partner in crime, with her ladylike mannerisms and angelic gold locks. She merely inclined her head, waiting for Julianne's reaction.

  Just her luck. Her cousins, who used to drive her to distraction when they were kids, had decided to play matchmakers. "And just how am I supposed to date him? I'm only going to be here for a week."

  Kay spoke up again. "We were thinking more along the lines of a fling. Something fast, fulfilling and fun."

  Julianne's jaw nearly dropped. "You mean, an affair? You've got to be kidding." She'd slept with one man in her entire life. And she'd been married to him. "I don't do things like that."

  "Think about it, Jul. Sex with a gorgeous stranger. It's just what you need to pull you out of this slump."

  Stunned by the casual suggestion, by the sheer raciness of it, she shifted her gaze between her cousins. "That's what this vacation was supposed to do."

  Kay flashed her impish smile. "So, consider Bobby Elk an added bonus."

  Dear God. "What about sexually transmitted diseases?"

  "You can make sure there's protection available," Mern said in her quiet, no-nonsense manner. "You can keep condoms in a drawer. Or in your purse. It's possible to have a responsible affair."

  "And they sell prophylactics in the gift shop," Kay added. "This place has everything. You don't even need to go into town."

  Julianne's mind reeled. Her cousins had been here all of three hours and already they'd scoped out a box of condoms and a tantalizing man to go with them.

  Kay reached for her diet soda, the caffeine jolt she thrived on. "It's time you got back into life, Jul. You've been divorced for two years."

  She fidgeted with the brochure in her hand, trying to get her thoughts in order. The idea of making love to Bobby Elk scared the stuffing out of her.

  But deep down, it thrilled her, too.

  "What if I made a play for him and he turned me down?" She'd be mortified. Crushed. Destroyed.

  Kay took another swig of her soda. "Come on, Jul. He's a red-blooded American male. And he's attracted to you."

  "This whole thing is crazy." Julianne popped up and paced the room. Now she wanted to throttle her cousins for putting the idea in her head.

  "Just think about it," Mern said.

  Julianne stopped to study the blonde, noting how striking she was with her tiny waist, rounded hips and ample bust. Mern could seduce a man without even trying. And so could Kay. The brunette had a straig
htforward, free-spirited charm that drew men to her like magnets. No wonder they'd kept their husbands.

  She plopped back onto the bed, picked up the brochure again. And when she caught sight of Bobby's name, her heart raced.

  Kay finished her drink. "Let it simmer for a day or so. You don't have to rush into anything this minute."

  Let it simmer? What did that mean? That she was supposed to face Bobby Elk tomorrow with sex on her mind?

  "Easy for you to say." Already she was panicked about what tomorrow would bring. Panicked about just seeing Bobby, let alone imagining herself in bed with him.

  * * *

  The following morning Bobby woke with a start, shaking a leg no longer there.

  Phantom pain, he thought. The nerves didn't know his leg was gone.

  But Bobby knew. A man didn't lose a limb and suddenly forget that part of him was missing.

  The phantoms rarely came anymore, so he closed his eyes, waiting out the discomfort, knowing it would eventually subside. He didn't believe in pharmaceutical painkillers. He followed a natural path and when necessary found relief with Juniper Berry, an herb also known as Ghost Berry.

  Ghost medicine for phantom pain. Sometimes the irony actually humored him. But not today. This frustrating morning, Bobby was in a ravaged mood.

  He opened his eyes and cursed. Relaxing didn't seem to be an option, even though he knew it would help ease the pain.

  He looked around his bedroom and took a deep breath. He lived in a log cabin that used to be a guest accommodation on the ranch. He'd given up the home he'd shared with his wife. Instead he stayed in a tiny place nestled on the side of a hill, surrounded by gnarled trees, flowers that sprouted on their own and long nights of seclusion.

  When the phantoms subsided, Bobby rose and reached for his crutches. Carrying himself into the bathroom, he stared at the adaptations that had been made. Grab rails, a shower chair. They had been part of his routine for the past three years, but today they made him feel like a cripple.

  Damn, but he hated self-pity.

  He'd promised himself long ago that he wouldn't dwell on the "Why me?" syndrome. And he'd been doing fairly well. Until yesterday, until a pretty redhead named Julianne McKenzie arrived, stirring an attraction that toyed with his libido.

  And made him wish, much too desperately, that his body was whole.

  After his shower, he attached his prosthesis. It took all of five minutes, but he did it begrudgingly, hating himself, once again, for falling into the self-pity trap. He was a healthy man, active and strong, financially secure. He had a lot to be thankful for.

  He spoke to the Creator every day, and the One Who Lives Above always listened. But this morning, Bobby couldn't find the emotional strength to give thanks.

  On this bright summer morning, he felt like what he was – a forty-two-year-old widower – a man who'd lost his wife.

  And, he added, grabbing a pair of Wrangler jeans from the dresser, a self-loathing, sex-starved amputee.

  He made it to the barn by 6:00 a.m. and started a pot of coffee before Michael could do the damage. Checking his computer, he scanned his appointments, the riding lessons and guided tours the front desk had scheduled for him.

  Julianne was his first lesson for the day.

  Anxious, he glanced at his watch and listened to the coffee brew. He could handle this, he told himself. She would only be around for a week. And he knew how to interact with his guests, how to be a proper host.

  All he had to do was relax and stop thinking about the sexual fury in his gut.

  Ready for a boost of caffeine, he poured a cup of the European blend and settled into his desk.

  The coffee tasted like heaven, and so did the continental breakfast Chef Gerard had sent to his office. The old chef, who'd trained at Le Cordon Bleu in Paris, spoiled Bobby and his ranch hands every morning with oven-baked treats.

  He polished off a buttered scone and checked his watch again.

  Showtime, he thought, rising to play his part, to face Julianne as he would any other paying guest. A week-long stay at his ranch didn't come cheap, and he owed her the courtesy of a genuine smile.

  Or as genuine as he could muster.

  She was already there, seated at the bench outside the barn, her spellbinding hair secured in a girlish ponytail and tied with a silky blue ribbon.

  She stood and sent him a look as sweet and warm as a candy-wrapped sun.

  He approached her, thinking she looked like a fairy. She had a beguiling little dimple, eyes as green as moss and freckles sprinkled across her nose like glitter.

  Forty looked cute on her, he decided. Bright and fresh.

  "Morning," he said.

  "Hi."

  She adjusted the hem of an oversize denim jacket. The white blouse beneath it sported a touch of lace at the collar and a row of tiny blue buttons. Her jeans were a pair of comfortably worn Levi's. Her moderately priced boots looked brand-spanking-new.

  "So, have you ever been on a horse?" he asked, gearing up for her lesson.

  She shook her head. "I'm from Pennsylvania."

  He couldn't help but grin. "They don't have horses in Pennsylvania?"

  She waved her hands in a flighty gesture. "Oh, of course they do. That was dumb."

  No, he thought. It was sweet. "I'm just teasing you, Julianne."

  "I know." She sent him a lopsided smile. "And you're good at it, too."

  He kept grinning. "You're an easy mark."

  "So I can expect you to torture me with that sense of humor of yours?"

  "Yes, ma'am." Having a sense of humor kept him alive, he supposed. That and his passion for horses. And of course, his paternal love for Michael.

  He considered Julianne and wondered if she had any kids. Knowing it wasn't his place to question her, he didn't ask.

  "Come on," he said, guiding her into the barn. "I'll introduce you to your mount."

  He chose a well-mannered, highly trained gelding. They stopped in front of a box stall and he motioned to the quarter horse. "This is Sir Caballero. 'Sir Knight' in English. Most of the time we just call him Caballero."

  "So, he's a boy."

  "Yep." Amused, Bobby watched her warm up to the gelding. "A ten-year-old boy."

  She tilted her head. "How can you tell?"

  "That he's male?"

  She glanced at the horse, then blushed furiously. "I was talking about his age. How can you tell how old he is?"

  Still amused, he flashed a telltale grin. "I knew what you meant."

  "Oh, goodness." She laughed, rolled her pretty green eyes. "You were teasing me again. I'm such a dork."

  "No, you're not." She was playful, he thought. A little naive. And that girlish naiveté made him want to kiss her. To brush her lips with his, to taste the dimple in her cheek. "You're sweet."

  She blinked and smiled, and the dimple imbedded even deeper. "Thank you."

  Bobby moved closer and they gazed at each other. All he had to do was to lean forward and initiate the first kiss, the first sip of satisfaction.

  When she moistened her lips, a shiver shot straight to his groin.

  Lust, he thought. Sugarcoated lust.

  Kissing Julianne wouldn't change who he was or what he'd done to Sharon. It wouldn't restore his honor or the broken vow he'd made to his wife's family.

  It would only be a balm, temporary relief for what would never quit ailing him.

  But that didn't make his desire, the hunger, any less real. "Where were we?" he asked, doing his damnedest to break the spell, to get back on track, to quit staring at her mouth.

  "We were…" About to kiss, Julianne thought. Or so it had seemed. But she couldn't be sure. She'd been out of practice for far too long.

  "We were talking about Caballero," she said, suddenly recalling where they'd left off. "About him being a boy. And about how old he is." She turned to the horse and tried to gain control of her senses. She'd lain awake most of the night, considering an affair with Bobby.


  A fun, fast, fulfilling fling.

  "Oh, yeah." He turned to the horse, too. "First of all, he's a gelding, a castrated male."

  Julianne merely nodded. She wasn't about to comment on the poor beast's castration.

  "Caballero is a registered quarter horse," Bobby went on to say. "And his date of birth is on his papers. But a horse's teeth can determine its age. The wearing surface changes as they grow older."

  "That makes sense." She reached out to stroke the gelding's nose, and the horse bobbed his approval.

  Bobby glanced her way and once again their gazes locked. Softly, gently. Like a breath of spring.

  Her cousins were right. She did need to get on with her life. To bask in the warmth and glory of a rough, rugged cowboy.

  "Are you ready?" he asked.

  To touch him? To lie beside his long-limbed, leanly muscled body?

  "Yes," she said.

  He reached for a nylon article hanging beside the stall. "This is a halter." He opened the door, entered the stall and buckled the horse into the headgear.

  He led Caballero toward the barn door, and then stopped to say something in Spanish to a young Latino ranch hand, who looked at Julianne and nodded his head.

  Once they were outside, Bobby tied the gelding to a hitching post. Julianne remained by his side, watching everything he did.

  Yes, she thought. Yes. She wanted Bobby Elk. She wanted those big, calloused hands all over her.

  The ranch hand appeared with a saddle and left it on a rack. Bobby thanked the young man in English and received a Spanish response.

  After the ranch hand departed, he saddled the horse, explaining the process, naming the tack. Julianne listened, but now and then her mind drifted. Back to Bobby's hands. Back to the fantasy of his touch.

  "What are you hoping to gain from your first lesson?" he asked, tightening the girth. "What do you want out of this?"

  You, she wanted to say. "Just the basics. So I can take one of the guided tours into the hills and feel comfortable." She paused, brushed a stray hair away from her face. A few strands were coming loose from her ponytail. "Do you give those tours?"

  He nodded. "I'm taking a group out tomorrow morning."

  She didn't want to share him with a group. "Can I book a private tour instead?"