Feral Read online

  Jenny recalled what Noah had said about Sky Dwellers being lion shapeshifters who couldn’t have sex with humans because their bodies were poisonous to each other.

  “Soon the Incan god grew tired of me and sent me back to earth. The Sky Dweller couldn’t forget me, and he began sneaking visits to my home. It was torturous because we desperately longed to mate. Anxious for a solution, I looked for a sorcerer who could turn me into what he was, or something similar, at least. That’s what led me to Taika. She was an American living in Mexico City, and she had a powerful reputation.”

  “What happened to your relationship with the Sky Dweller?”

  “He was banned from the sky because of our deception, but we are still together and very much in love.”

  It all sounded so nice, except this was the woman who’d ripped Noah to shreds. “You attacked a man outside of a cantina and turned him into what you are. His name is Noah, and he is the man I love.”

  Lareina cocked her head. “Taika told me that he never shifted completely.”

  “She checked on him?”

  “Not in person. She looked into one of her crystals and saw him. Is he still half-cat?”

  “Yes, and I want to know how I can break the spell to make him mortal again.”

  “You can’t.”

  Jenny didn’t believe her, but before she could look to the sapiya for the truth, Lareina added, “The spell Taika used had a stipulation: I had to turn one human male into a shifter. I had a month to accomplish the task or else I would revert back to being human. But none of the men I attacked survived, and I was running out of time. I kept searching for the right prey, combing all of Mexico. I chose Noah because I heard that his people possessed a special medicine.”

  The tiger medicine, Jenny thought.

  Lareina continued, “When he survived, the spell was fully enacted. My immortality became infallible and so did his.”

  Jenny finally glanced down at the sapiya. “Please tell me she’s lying.”

  The stone responded, “She speaks the truth.”

  Jenny’s stomach sank, and Lareina walked over to the edge of the containment and peered down at the ground to see where the voice came from.

  “Is that the magic you used to cage me?” she asked.

  “Yes,” Jenny said. For all the good it did.

  “Make it release me.”

  “Not yet,” the sapiya said.

  Jenny didn’t see why it mattered. What was the point of all this? The sapiya’s presence wasn’t making sense anymore and neither was Lareina’s. Jenny’s dream of making Noah mortal had just shattered into a zillion useless pieces.

  Lareina made a puzzled expression. “I don’t understand.”

  Me neither, Jenny thought.

  The other woman expounded. “Why are you fretting over an old spell? Why don’t you create a new one and make yourself into a shapeshifter? Then you can be immortal, too.”

  Jenny’s heart skipped. “Is that possible?” she asked the sapiya. Did she have sorcery powers that she wasn’t aware of? “Can I do that?”

  “No,” it responded.

  “Can I hire someone else to create a new spell?”

  “No,” it said again. “Your blood tie to Taika would interfere. But Noah can turn you.”

  Oh my God. “How?”

  “He would have to shift into a full lion.”

  “Is he even capable of that after all these years?”

  “It’s still inside him. He just has to let it out.”

  “Then what? He would have to attack me?” She warded off a chill. “Lareina nearly killed him.” Then there was the matter of the men she had killed. “Can you guarantee that I would survive?”

  “No, but it isn’t necessary for the exchange to be as brutal as what Lareina had done to him.”

  Jenny started. “What are you saying? That Noah could maul me in a gentler way and it could still work?”

  “Only a minimal amount of blood has to be shed, so basically a few scratches would do. But he would have to resist the blind need to go further.”

  Lareina piped in from the sidelines. “And that wouldn’t be easy. The need to be brutal would overpower him and so would the hunger for sex. They are side effects from the spell and Taika cautioned me beforehand about them. At the time I was certain that I would be able to control those urges. But once I was under the spell, I failed to fight it.”

  Jenny asked, “What happened after the spell was complete? How did you feel then?”

  “The need to be brutal disappeared, and I felt remorse for killing those men and for hurting Noah so badly. I don’t regret my decision to spend eternity with my Sky Dweller, but if I could undo the damages I caused, I would.”

  Jenny’s heart went tight. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with Noah, but there were frightening factors to consider.

  “May I be released now?” Lareina asked. “Or do you have more questions?”

  “You can go.” As far as Jenny was concerned, there was no reason to keep her any longer.

  Apparently the sapiya agreed. The women exchanged a quiet glance, then, poof, Lareina disappeared.

  Jenny frowned at the vacant enclosure. Then she returned to the house and gave the sapiya blood from a steak. She didn’t fix herself anything. She couldn’t eat. All she could do was obsess about Noah.

  “Do you think he would be able to resist the urge to be vicious?” she asked.

  “Do you truly believe that he loves you?” came the reply.

  “Yes. But he keeps saying that he doesn’t.”

  “He does love you. He just hasn’t admitted it to himself yet.”

  Did that mean he could resist? That he would be gentle with her? “You think it would turn out all right, don’t you?”

  “I cannot predict the outcome. All I know is that he loves you.”

  “If it happened, would I have the urge to turn someone else, and would I have to fight the brutality that comes with it?”

  “No. Your connection to Taika would stop you from experiencing those side effects.”

  “How would the cats on my rescue react to me?”

  “They would embrace the change. They accept shapeshifters as their own.”

  She thought about Valiente and Sandy. “Then why are the mountain lions leery around Noah?”

  “His scent is awkward to them because he hasn’t shifted all the way. They don’t understand what he is.”

  But Jenny understood who and what he was, and although her “Beauty and the Beast” dream was gone, she was embarking on a new dream now.

  She closed her eyes and envisioned herself as a shifter, a woman, a lion, moving between both worlds with the man she loved by her side.

  She opened her eyes, wishing her grandfather was alive so she could talk to him about it. Would he support her dream? Would he embrace the idea of Jenny living forever and shifting into a cat?

  Yes, she thought. He would. Grandpa would want her to follow her heart, to become what Noah was, as long as it was going to make her happy.

  Grandpa knew what it was like to be alone, to lose almost everyone he’d loved. And if Jenny didn’t do this, she would grow old and alone. She couldn’t replace Noah. She would never love another man the way she loved him, and the only way to become his lifelong mate was for her to become a shifter.

  While the sapiya finished soaking up the blood, Jenny called Noah and asked him to come over, praying he would listen to what she had to say.

  Otherwise, what good was love if one of them was immortal and the other wasn’t?

  Fifteen

  Noah couldn’t believe his ears. He sat across from Jenny at a picnic bench at Big Cat Canyon, where she’d asked him to meet her and where she’d just spouted off her tale.

  “You can’t be serious,” he said. “I would never—do you hear me?—never deliberately do to you what was done to me.”

  She argued her case. “The sapiya said that all it would take would be a few scratches. J
ust think of it as a gentle mauling.”

  “That’s an oxymoron.”

  “I love you, Noah. And the sapiya says you love me, too.”

  “I’m sick of hearing about what that little stone told you. I’m not in love. I’m fucking not.”

  “Listen to the denial in your voice. Just listen to yourself. You sound like a child who’s about to stomp his feet.”

  She was mocking him? Accusing him of throwing a temper tantrum? Ballsy chick. He could turn into his half-cat state and scratch the crap out of her just to teach her a lesson. Let alone how badly he could maul her if he went full-blown, as he was supposedly capable of doing.

  “Get up,” he said.

  “What?”

  “Get up and come with me.” He went over to her side of the bench and grabbed her arm. “Now.”

  She tried to shrug away from him. “Stop it.”

  “Why? Is my grip too tight? Am I hurting you? Imagine that.” He tugged a little harder. “I said come with me.”

  He practically dragged her along.

  “Where are we going?” she asked.

  “You’ll see.” He knew it wouldn’t take long for her to become aware of where he was taking her. She obviously knew where every path on her property led. Still, he kept a tight hold on her.

  Once she became aware, she said, “We’re going to the mountain lions’ enclosures? Why?”

  To make a much-needed impact, he thought.

  As soon as they approached the area, Valiente growled, but Noah figured the lion would start acting up. In fact, he’d counted on it.

  “If you’re trying to use them as a reason that I can’t become a shapeshifter and still run this place, you’re wrong,” she said. “They would accept me just fine. They’re leery of you because you haven’t shifted all the way. Your presence wouldn’t disturb them if your scent was more like theirs.”

  “I’m not trying to use them for that reason. And you’re not telling me something that I don’t already know.”

  “Then what’s your point?”

  He grabbed her shoulders and turned her directly toward Valiente. “Look at him. Look at the mood he’s in.” The lion stalked back and forth, its body taunt. “Would you purposely let him maul you? Would you trust him to give you just a few scratches?”

  She went mum.

  “Answer the question,” he snapped.

  “No, but he isn’t you.”

  “That’s a stupid answer. I would be just as dangerous as he is. Maybe more so because of the hunger that would overcome me. If Lareina couldn’t keep herself in check, why would I be any different?”

  “Because you love me.”

  “Quit saying that.”

  She persisted. “What about the connection we share? My ancestor is responsible for turning Lareina into a shapeshifter, and Lareina is responsible for turning you into one.”

  “That doesn’t mean it’s supposed to trickle down to you. Think about immortality, Jenny. Really think about it. You couldn’t stay here forever. You’d have to move before people start to notice that you don’t age. You’d have to change your identity, the way I’ve been doing. And what about your family? What would you say to them?”

  “Matt is my only family, and eventually I’d just have to tell him the truth. As for moving, I’d sell this place and start over as many times as I had to, opening new rescues. It doesn’t matter, as long as I’m with you. Just say you’ll do it, Noah.”

  Was there no reasoning with her? “What if I hurt you beyond repair? Or mauled you to death? I’m not agreeing to this madness.”

  “And I’m not giving up on becoming a shapeshifter. Maybe there’s a way for Lareina to do it. Maybe there’s a loophole in the spell the sapiya didn’t tell me about.”

  That cinched it. Noah went ballistic. “Don’t you let her get anywhere near you. Do you fucking hear me?”

  “Stop shouting and stop cursing. Lareina doesn’t have vicious urges anymore.”

  “Yeah, well, consider this—what if that so-called loophole backfired and she reverted back to what she was when she attacked me?” He shook her, hoping that he rattled her teeth, along with that hard head of hers. “I mean it—stay away from her.” He raised his voice another octave. “If that bitch maimed or killed you, I’d want to die. And I can’t die, so I’d be living the rest of my godforsaken life in misery.”

  “Why don’t you just admit that you love me? Why else would you care so much?” She shoved her fists against his chest. “Just say it, Noah. Admit it.”

  Hell and damnation. He grabbed her wrists to hold her still. She was behaving like a little spitfire. “Knock it off.”

  “Say it!”

  His emotions flew amok. Did he look like a clock with its hands spinning backward? With its springs coming loose? Whatever was happening to him, he wasn’t about to acknowledge it as love. He would never give her that kind of leeway. “I’m not saying a damn thing. Nor am I going to attempt to turn you into what I am.”

  She blinked. Then her eyes went misty. “Please. If you don’t turn me, our future is doomed.”

  She was begging him? That made it worse. “I can’t take the chance.”

  “You’d be gentle. I know you would.”

  “But I don’t know that I would, and that’s more important than what you think you know.”

  She leaned against him, and he wrapped his arms around her. As the wind stirred lightly around them, they went silent in each other’s embrace.

  Finally, he stepped back. The moment was too soft and warm, and he couldn’t bear the way being this close to her made him feel.

  He said, “You should find yourself a mortal guy.” He thought about the husband and children he’d assumed that she would have someday. “You should get married and have kids and grandkids and grow old like you’re meant to.”

  “I’m meant to be with you.”

  “No, you’re not. We should stop seeing each other. Now. Today. I can’t do this anymore.”

  Her voice cracked. “You’re ending it?”

  “Yes.” He was ending it. For good.

  After Noah left, Jenny returned to the house, fighting tears. He’d walked away because he was concerned about hurting her. Wasn’t that proof he wouldn’t take the “mauling” further than it needed to go?

  She didn’t want to find herself a mortal guy. She wanted Noah, and if she couldn’t convince him to turn her, then maybe there really was hope with Lareina.

  She entered the kitchen, where she’d left the trinket box. She opened the lid, rousing the sapiya. She explained what had transpired between her and Noah, then asked if there was any way whatsoever that Lareina could turn her into a shapeshifter.

  The answer was a resounding, “No.”

  “So, Noah is it? He’s the only one who can do it?”

  “Yes.”

  The tears she’d banked let loose, and she sat at the table, covered her face, and cried.

  The sapiya rattled around in its box, drawing her attention. “Are you abandoning your quest?”

  She uncovered her face. Was she?

  No, she thought. Determined to stay strong, she grabbed a paper towel, dried her cheeks, and dabbed her runny nose.

  Jenny spent the rest of the morning and a portion of the afternoon trying to figure out a course of action. She kept bouncing ideas around in her head.

  Then it hit her.

  She knew what she needed to do.

  She said to the sapiya, “I’d like to see Lareina again. But I want you to bring her here, to my home. I want to talk to her without a barrier between us.”

  “Shall I do that now?”

  “First I’m going to make some tea.” Something to calm her nerves and something to offer Lareina. Funny thing, too. Less than a week ago Noah had made an offhand remark about Lareina not being the type to chat over afternoon tea. Hopefully Jenny was about to prove him wrong.

  She brewed a soothing blend of mint and chamomile. She used her grandmother�
�s floral-painted teapot and delicate china, including a cute little creamer and matching sugar bowl. She even opened a box of assorted cookies and arranged them on a plate.

  After carrying everything into the living room and placing it on the coffee table, she waited in the hallway and told the sapiya she was ready for their guest.

  Within a matter of minutes, Lareina appeared. She glanced quickly around, puzzling, it appeared, over the vacant room and tea setup.

  Jenny stepped forward and made herself known. “Would you care to join me?”

  Lareina hesitated. “Earlier you put me in a cage and now you are entertaining me?”

  “I didn’t know if I could trust you earlier.”

  Lareina lifted her eyebrows. “And now you do?”

  “You said that you were remorseful for what you did.”

  “I am.”

  “Then join me.” Jenny gestured to the sofa.

  The other woman took a seat and smoothed her dress. She was wearing the same filmy garment as before. Jenny sat beside her and poured the tea. Lareina added a bit of milk to her cup, and Jenny doctored hers with a spoonful of sugar.

  How strangely civilized it was, sharing a refreshment with the shapeshifter who’d brutalized Noah. For a moment, Jenny questioned her own sanity.

  Curious, she glanced at the sapiya. It sat silently in its box. It didn’t seem concerned about her mental health. It obviously knew that she was making the right decision.

  Jenny said to her guest, “I have a favor to ask of you.”

  After she explained, Lareina said, “Are you sure that Noah loves you?”

  “I’m positive. Even my magic says so.” But even more telling was the achingly tender way Noah had held her today. “Will you help me?”

  The brunette nodded, and a bond was formed. That, too, was strangely civilized.

  Once the details were finalized, Lareina reached for a cookie. “You look so much like Taika. She had the same soft quality, the same pale blond hair.”

  Jenny replied, “When Noah first mentioned you, he called you mysteriously beautiful. I can see how easily you seduced him. You could make any man want you.”

  “I didn’t seduce the gods who captured me. They just took me.”